Do you ever get the sense that someone is watching you? Well, it's true. Santa Claus, the Vermiscious Knids, Dr. Eckleberg and all the other demons can see you all the time. They chuckle at your coffee spills. They get a tingling schadenfreude when you can't find the matching sock. They tell their buddies to hurry back into the room whenever you parallel park. Yes, you are being mocked by fictional characters all the time, and there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing except come to Salad Wednesday, because Salad Wednesday is invisible, and even if it wasn't, it's unmockable.