Science fact: the actual Thanksgiving story is that when the starving Europeans were saved by the Native Americans, they were offered Salad Wednesday, but they couldn't handle it. Instead, they opted for the less world-rearranging "Thanksgiving," which allowed them to leave their gourds intact. Come recover from the long weekend with a tradition that's older than Thursday:
bring: salads, drinks, desserts, snacks to ponder in the living room, friends, fraggles, doozers, gorgs, gorgons, snogrog (that's gorgons backwards)
In three days, Salad Wednesday will have completed its long walk back from the east coast. Along the way, it met so many people, it saw so many things. Salad Wednesday is the new state religion of Nebraska. Salad Wednesday can never go back to that one bar in Tennessee (yet somehow we all know it will). Salad Wednesday learned from a shaman in Utah how to make a salad from nothing more than the feeling one gets from looking at the moon. Come be there to meet Salad Wednesday when it returns to Berkeley with a look in its eyes somewhere between puppy dog adorable and mangy dog crazed.
Bring: salads, snacks, drinks, live animals, unaccounted for externalities, opinions you don't hold but can, people you know, people you are sure you know but can't figure out from where, card tricks, triple entendres, other stuff
Do you ever get the sense that someone is watching you? Well, it's true. Santa Claus, the Vermiscious Knids, Dr. Eckleberg and all the other demons can see you all the time. They chuckle at your coffee spills. They get a tingling schadenfreude when you can't find the matching sock. They tell their buddies to hurry back into the room whenever you parallel park. Yes, you are being mocked by fictional characters all the time, and there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing except come to Salad Wednesday, because Salad Wednesday is invisible, and even if it wasn't, it's unmockable.
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